The Apatow-manchild syndrome has become a virulent and infectious disease, eating away at modern comedy one tedious film at a time. Despite the ripe odour of deja-vu drifting from scripts, leading men still jump at the chance to portray yet another well-meaning slob suffering from arrested development. We’re supposed to root for these characters but in truth, the vast majority of them are incredibly irritating charisma vacuums. When Vince Vaughn, whose charm and comic timing deserted him sometime in the late 1990s, steps into the shoes of one of these characters, as he does in Delivery Man, the result is a perfect storm of mediocrity.
The character in question is David, an irresponsible commitment-phobe who constantly finds himself in debt, much to the chagrin of his brothers and father. David works as the delivery man for his family’s butcher shop but is terrible at his job and generally lets down everyone around him. During a period of financial hardship years previously, David earned some extra money donating sperm, a practice which comes back to haunt him when it transpires that, due to an administrative error on the part of the bank, he is the father of 533 children. When 142 of these children file a lawsuit to reveal his identity, David must make the decision whether or not to make himself known.
Delivery Man is a remake of the Canadian film Starbuck which is by all accounts quite a likable little film. How Delivery Man ended up so far from this territory considering the fact that Starbuck’s director and writer Ken Scott remained at the helm, is anyone’s guess. The quirkiness of the original concept has been smothered beneath an avalanche of schmaltz as Vaughn checks up on his progeny in a series of vignettes that are diabetes-inducing in their syrupy sweetness. Stuck in the sugary goo are some rather good actors with not much to do. Cobie Smulders has the unenviable task of being Vaughn’s love interest while What Richard Did’s Jack Raynor wastes his time as one of his offspring. The only performance that made me sit up and take notice was from the always likable Chris Pratt as David’s hapless lawyer.
Ultimately, Delivery Man fails to deliver any laughs. This is a cheesy, often messy film with yet another terminally boring turn from Vaughn at its centre.