The novels of Nicholas Sparks may be staggeringly formulaic but on screen his stories usually make for rather effective tear-jerkers. Both The Notebook and A Walk to Remember have achieved cult status for those wanting a little romantic catharsis.
The Last Song is the first original screenplay from the author and stars Miley Cyrus as Ronnie, a wayward teen who lives, loves and learns over the course of a summer while visiting her estranged father (you know the drill). While it has all the hallmarks of the classic weepies – love, death, guilt, heartbreak etc. if you’re looking for a “Beaches-like” experience, you’re out of luck. The Last Song is more likely to cause a migraine than a bout of restorative crying.
Director Julie Ann Robinson does a workman-like job (albeit with a penchant for some rather cringe worthy visual metaphors) but struggles with a script that has a profound case of ADD. What could be interesting revelations or plot points are thrown casually into conversation before being discarded in almost the same breath. In one particularly jarring U-turn, a discussion in the aftermath of a violent incident at a family wedding halts when Ronnie and love interest/shirtless mannequin Will are distracted by some hatching sea turtles. As a result, I never felt I got to know these characters–a situation that tolls the death knell for any aspiring weepie.
What then of the all-conquering Cyrus? Suitably for a young woman who has spent most of her career with a split personality, her performance is a tale of two halves. While she never convinces as the damaged tearaway (despite the regulation uniform of army boots and pierced nostril), she acquits herself well enough when the tragedy is piled on late in the day. Greg Kinnear as Ronnie’s dad looks terribly bored throughout, which is hardly surprising as he is criminally underused.
As a film that boils down to some pretty vignettes, very little dramatic imperative and a curious lack of the passage of time, the experience of watching The Last Song is like sitting through a slide-show from a friend’s holiday.